When I thought of retirement when I was younger, I had a hazy notion of living by a beach between world-traveling jaunts to places on my bucket list. I might spend the day reading or maybe doing some volunteer work. I would definitely sleep in. Certainly, this fuzzy concept did not include stress or waking up at 3 a.m. with free-floating anxiety.
Some of this fantasy about a blissful stress-free future is due to advertising. Since the late ’50s, the Del Webb retirement communities (think Sun City) have relentlessly promoted the “golden years” concept of retirement: “It’s time to sit back, relax, and really reflect on what makes your heart sing.”
Yeah, right.
In a recent panel on “The Science of Stress” at Stanford University, Elise Epel, professor and vice chair in the Department of Psychiatry at UC San Francisco, debunked that idea: “Our default is being overwhelmed these days,” whether because of personal issues, existential threats like climate change and political instability, information overload or all of the above.
The Stanford Lifestyle Medicine Program, which provides evidence-based information on healthy lifestyle practices, and The Longevity Project, a group that promotes research and public conversation about the implications of longer life spans, sponsored the day-long program on “Healthy Aging 2025: Mind and Body.” A series of speakers considered how stress affects us as we age, and how we can best cope with it, along with recommendations for better sleep, nutrition, and preventing cognitive decline.
The good news is that not all stress is bad, and getting older may actually make us better at managing it.
Epel used the example of the lion and gazelle to illustrate the difference between positive and negative stress. The lion, chasing the gazelle for dinner, will experience the positive effects of stress – the excitement of anticipating a huge reward and an adrenalin rush that causes the heart to pump huge amounts of blood, allowing the lion to run faster and catch its prey.
Meanwhile, the gazelle will experience a different kind of stress: “the threat response of her life.” She too will have a physiological response – even being able to keep going while injured – but in terms of the type of stress, it’s definitely better to be the lion rather than the gazelle.
Our version of gazelle-like stress is running out of money
Epel’s point was that “stress is absolutely our friend” when it comes to rising to an occasion or a challenge. But chronic stress can lead to inflammation, lack of energy, and other negative results that in fact shorten our lives. Feeling constantly in danger – what Epel calls the “long slow drip” of elevated stress – overtaxes our body’s regulatory systems.
And one of the great ironies of increased longevity is that expecting a longer lifespan can lead to financial stress, as people wonder if their money will last. This is particularly true for women, who both live longer and earn less than men. In a panel at the Stanford conference on “Managing Stress in the Second Half of Life,” JoAnne Moore, vice president of Thought Leadership & Content at Corebridge Financial, said that nearly half of the people her company surveyed did not want to live to be 100 because they were afraid of running out of money.
Nevertheless, both science and experience tell us that older people have an edge in managing stress. Unlike their younger counterparts, older adults have lived through existential threats before and have a “communal resilience” that helps them cope. They may finally have learned not to sweat the small stuff. Remembering a world without screens means being able to disconnect from the constant doomscroll.
The Stanford program showcased the tremendous amount of study on developing a kind of “stress fitness,” ranging from the effects of a cold plunge to AI bots that offer helpful tips throughout your day.
Epel’s advice is more down-to-earth. Having routines and small rituals – like hugging a pet or relishing a hot shower – “turn on mechanisms that slow biological aging” and “allow the body to relax.” Epel also suggested moderating our breathing – for example, inhaling for four seconds followed by eight seconds of exhaling – for those 3 a.m. moments.
Is it really that simple?
At my yoga class in Fort Bragg, Deborah Karish, a very popular yoga instructor and chiropractor with a deep understanding of the body’s biological responses, has us spend 5-10 minutes practicing the same kind of moderated breathing that Epel recommended. Karish emphasizes that the technique requires nasal breathing and taking in less air. Breathing through your nose “calms the nervous system,” in contrast to long deep breaths that prepare the body for fight or flight. Breathing in less air slows the heart rate, lowers the blood pressure, and tells the body it is safe. “If you can keep the balance on the side of feeling calm, you’ll be less stressed out,“ Karish says.
I also try to remind myself that at the end of the day, whatever is really bugging me at noon will probably be resolved by dinnertime, at least until I turn on the news.
What does a longer lifespan mean to you? Two talented columnists tag-team every Friday to tackle the challenges that inform your choices — whether you’re pushing 17 or 70. Recent Stanford Center on Longevity Visiting Scholar Susan Nash looks at life experiences through an acerbic personal lens, while longtime writer and health reporter Tony Hicks takes the macro view to examine how society will change as the aging population grows ever larger. Check in every Friday to expand your vision of living the long game and send us your feedback, column suggestions and ideas for future coverage to newsroom@baycitynews.com.
Excellent! I have heard of positive stress! On we go!