O’Neill: Year’s end brings reflection

Casey O’Neill is a farmer and owner of Happy Day Farms in Laytonville, Calif. The opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mendocino Voice. If you’d like to write your own column for The Mendocino Voice, send your idea to info@mendovoice.com.

So comes the Winter Solstice, the shortest days and longest nights of the year. I dive deep into the darkness, resting, seeking, hibernating, reflecting. I sit in wonder at the simple joys of life, and remind myself of the tribulations that, this too shall pass. It’s so easy to be caught up in the stream of day-to-day and miss the bigger picture, the beauty that surrounds, the magic of being alive.

I’m reconnecting with the inspiration and hope that drives me, remembering the joys of community and gathering together. In this time of darkness, I seek renewal over work, setting aside the oncoming projects from my mental space in favor of openness and light. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and as the year edged along, I found myself feeling duller, dim, downhearted.

It was a long year, but it’s always a long year. I reflect that as the stream of life slips along, each moment is part of a finite journey. As the years go by, I become more aware of the limits of my physicality, the eventualities of death and passage. During the darkness of the Solstice, I think about those who have gone before, drawing out the treasured memories to cherish and appreciate.

I think of my grandparents, the happy times we spent together, the lessons they imparted. I hold my mother in my mind, her love and teachings like signposts that light the darkness. I think of the ways that Pops brings us together, the shared meals and the work that he does to care for us acting as strings in the web that supports us. I think of the elders within my community who have gone, and I hold space to appreciate those who are still with us. I relax into gratitude for the sharing and commonality that form the bonds between us in this journey of life.

Gratitude rises when I picture the web of my family and the ways in which we each bring our strengths and skills to find the path of life. We hold each other up in the difficult times, and remember to celebrate in the good times. I think of the ways that the roles on the farm have evolved as we’ve each grown, changed, moved through the different stages of living.

The more that I become aware of the finite nature of life, the sweeter it becomes, and the more I am reminded to savor the sweetness, to take the time to enjoy it, to shine with love and receive love in turn. I remember to focus on the smell of moist earth, the shimmering of water on the leaves of plants, the simple joys of interacting with animals. I am reminded to be in care of my relationships, nourishing and nurturing as I receive care in turn.

I gain a deeper appreciation for the ways in which the labors of life come to double as time spent with friends, when the work at hand opens space for connection. I treasure the work we do together, and the ways in which we each bring our skills and good energy to the projects. I love the interactions I have at farmers markets, the sharing of goods and stories, the threads of community that sew us together into the tapestry of life.

As I edge towards my 15th season as a market farmer and my 20th year working with plants, I look back on the sweetnesses, along with the trials and tribulations. I see that many of the hardest times were the forges that hardened me, testing my mettle and shaping the self I would become. I reflect on the support I received during those times, and resolve to offer the same to others in times of need.

In all the hustle and bustle of life, I often feel like I’m missing chances to catch up and hang out with friends. I’m learning that some of the best time spent is in shared projects, and I think of the way traditional farming economies worked together to make sure everything got done. I reflect on how much help I receive in a year in order to get my work done, and resolve to offer help and support in kind.

I walk the farmscape with the sound of flowing creeks chattering in my ears. The softness of wet earth beneath my feet reminds me of the vibrancy of living beings; the biota at work, the plants, animals and humans rising forth from this fundamental connection to soil. I see my life at work, connecting these dots, tending, raising, husbanding. I sink my roots deep into the rich soil, gathering strength and succor to heal and repair the difficulties of the year. I reach deep, anchoring and connecting so that I may continue to grow into the future, to bring my best and highest self to the life I lead. As always, much love and great success to you on your journey!