This is an opinion piece. We value the diverse opinions of our readers and we welcome robust, wide-ranging thoughts and ideas on subjects relevant to Mendocino County. The following opinion is not representative of The Mendocino Voice, its publisher, editor or staff. Opinion pieces can be sent to info@mendovoice.com.
Marie Willa Bobo-Smith is a Mendocino County resident, parent, and advocate for children and gender-diverse communities. A post-operative transgender woman who was once a transgender child herself, she speaks to how public policy affects real children, families, and schools at the local level.
Across the country, lawmakers are introducing bills like H.R. 7661 that claim to “protect children” by restricting what schools can say or teach about gender identity. While these proposals are framed as safeguards, they rest on a false and damaging premise: that being transgender, or experiencing gender dysphoria, is inherently sexual.
It isn’t.
Gender identity is about who a person knows themselves to be. Gender dysphoria is a medically recognized condition involving distress when that identity doesn’t align with one’s assigned sex at birth. Neither involves sexual acts, sexual behavior, or sexual instruction. Labeling them as “sexual” requires projecting adult sexual meaning onto children’s identities — and that projection is the real harm.
We don’t consider it sexual when a child knows they are a boy or a girl. We don’t call it sexual when schools talk about puberty, pronouns, or the social experiences of growing up. Yet when a child is transgender, their existence is suddenly treated as inappropriate. That double standard isn’t about protecting children — it’s about erasing a group of people by redefining their identity as taboo.
Bills like H.R. 7661 don’t ban sexual content. They ban acknowledgment. They tell schools that recognizing transgender students, offering age-appropriate support, or even answering basic questions about gender could put funding at risk. The result isn’t safety — it’s silence. And silence doesn’t protect children; it isolates them.
The effects don’t stay abstract. Cisgender children are increasingly questioned or harassed for not conforming to expectations. Teachers self-censor basic, nonsexual facts. Transgender and questioning students lose access to support proven to reduce anxiety, depression, and suicide risk. None of this makes schools safer. It simply makes them colder.
Here in Mendocino County, our schools are small, personal, and deeply woven into community life. When national culture-war legislation filters down into classrooms like ours, it shows up not as theory but as fear and hesitation around children who are already navigating a complex world. Our community has long valued care over cruelty and understanding over erasure. We should not allow distant lawmakers to redefine who belongs in our classrooms or which children are allowed to be seen.
If lawmakers truly want to protect children, they should start by protecting truth. Identity is not sex. Recognition is not sexualization. And erasing reality under the banner of “protection” doesn’t shield children from harm — it creates it.
Okay, fair enough. But you are not actually addressing the problem. What about school children watching sexually illicit content at erotic drag shows? In an attempt to “normalize” trans, kids are exposed to erotic and inappropriate sexually oriented performances. That’s the problem. That’s the threat. Unfortunately the general backlash to what irresponsible adults are doing creates the animosity that can sometimes be misdirected towards a single disturbed child. Need to address that in a responsible manner. Distorted beliefs about trans lead to self-defeating behaviors like a drag show. Instead of acceptance they create division.
Where is that happening? Have you ever been to these mystical sexually explicit drag shows? Because I grew up queer in Mendo and I went to art school in the Bay Area- the epitome of queer culture- and my partner is a long time drag king, and I’ve never seen a sexually explicit drag show, let alone one where kids were present. I guarantee you’re not getting invited to edgier drag shows than I am. So is this a real concern, or a rumor?
Furthermore what does drag, which is camp performance, have to do with trans kids in schools? This article isn’t about drag.
You’re conflating the existence of queer culture and performance at all with sexualization of kids. That’s the exact problem the article is addressing.
Trans people and drag have some overlap, but less than you probably think. It’s not even the same conversation.
We had a trans kid take their own life in Fort Bragg just a year ago, and I don’t think drag was a factor. Let’s keep our youth alive and stop with the distraction.
GB: Actually, the article is about drag when it brings up national legislation. We have all seen the photos of children sitting on the floor during a drag show. Agree, the photos were not taken at local schools, however to say they do not exist is untruthful. Perhaps the greater threat besides exposing young children to confusing sexual concepts is the subtle leftist indoctrination taking place. Since national culture-war legislation that protects the safety of a few transgender children is inextricably intertwined with the conflicting protection of the norms of a functional society, acknowledging parental responsibility and roles, and allowing for the free individual expression of beliefs if one disagrees. Legislation typically includes a “hammer” to enforce the law and therein lies a threat. Leftist advocates adhere to a “group think” that conforms to their ideological belief system and when individuals speak/think outside of it they are attacked. School children should be left out of all this adult-level quibbling, and be free to learn without the politics.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I think it’s important to clarify a few points with evidence, because there’s a lot of misinformation circulating about this topic.
First, the idea that school-aged children are being exposed to sexually explicit performances at drag events is not accurate. Verified reporting and research show that the vast majority of “drag story hours” or school-related drag events are age-appropriate, non-sexual performances—think colorful costumes, storytelling, songs, and themes about diversity and self-expression. These events are designed to be comparable to other educational performances, like puppet shows or theater presentations, and do not include erotic content.
The images you might have seen of children attending drag events are usually taken out of context. No credible evidence shows that children in schools are being subjected to sexualized content. The conflation of LGBTQ+ visibility with sexualization is a persistent misconception, and it’s important to separate those ideas.
It’s also important to recognize that supporting LGBTQ+ children—through inclusion, understanding, or access to diverse role models—is not the same as indoctrination. Schools and libraries aim to foster empathy, curiosity, and acceptance, while still teaching age-appropriate content.
Finally, it’s worth emphasizing that legislation around these issues is intended to protect all children from harm, not to force political conformity. Encouraging thoughtful discussion, critical thinking, and respect for different identities can coexist with parental guidance and personal values.
In short: children are not being exposed to erotic content, drag events for kids are designed to be educational and age-appropriate, and supporting LGBTQ+ inclusion is compatible with maintaining societal norms and parental guidance.
Marie: Obviously, you think about this and care about it way more than I do. Before seeing your article I did not think about it at all. I’m old fashioned, my kids are grown up, and as the saying goes, “I don’t have a dog in this fight.”
However, I just put myself in the place of a student in today’s classroom. I’m the “normal” kid. I’m sure there are students today like how I was back then. I didn’t know or care about sexual topics until I was a teenager. I hated “the news” and politics. The boys played kickball and the girls played hopscotch. If you did neither you were a loner, and had no friends. We had our own culture and it was tough, think “Lord of the Flies.” Authorities had control during class time but outside it was basic survival of the fittest (or smartest). In that culture, trying to teach trans acceptance would be laughable. Impossible.
And yet, today we have the California Healthy Youth Act, which makes teaching diversity a mandatory subject. Well, perhaps H.R. 7661 is just a reaction to that? It prohibits “lewd or lascivious dancing” in front of students under the age of 18. You okay with that? It defines sexually oriented material as subject matter involving gender dysphoria or transgenderism. So if this becomes law, by definition, discussing or teaching trans to students IS sexual.
When I was growing up, and for as far back as history as I know it went, if you were born with a penis you were a male/boy. If you had a vagina you are a female/girl. On extremely rare occasions, someone was born with both. Not a common occurrence that I know of and I don’t know why.
Some are born with no sex organs also. But tbey still have either XX or XY chromosomes & having known one of these people very closely those chromosomes happened to align with how they felt as they grew old enough to understand that they are different than other people.
It is quite sad because these kids swapping gender makes the struggle that person’s born with ambiguous genitalia look like it is not a difficult thing. But it very much is. Many of them become depressed & suicide is very common.
Funny how some of these people when they were born their parents were so excited that they had a boy, or a girl. Not a transgender child! A boy or a girl. Evidently they had forgotten who their parents were and what their parents had when they were born. And ignorant thing that they left us media came up with and ignorant people have taken it on as something they should fight for. I can’t believe there there are so many people in California that have become so ignorant because the media pushed them into thinking a lie.
Born in “gods” image? If so, why wouldnt we be invisible, too. Two, god doesn’t exist, it is a man made construct to use fear to control the weak and the gullible. Three, even if he did exist why would care “his” children are who they are. If you believe god is the almighty creator who are you to judge what he made is right or wrong. Worst yet, according to bible, he has killed more people than the “devil” ever has. Don’t believe me? Perhaps you should read your “good” more. The LGBTQIA+ do not hurt personally, so do you care? Sounds like you need to learn more rather be willful ignorant.
Thank you, Marie for your cogent argument and unique perspective. I’m glad to hear your experience with schools in Mendocino County have not reflected the cruelty of other geographic areas. Dave, I wonder what schools have exposed children to “sexually illicit content at erotic drag shows”. While, yes, some drag shows do have sexual content, I am not aware that such shows are being performed in our schools. What Marie is calling for is simply honoring the paths taken by children and the parents who love them. Your distaste for sexually explicit drag shows is not a legitimate reason to deny a child’s civil and human rights. This is not ignorance, it’s love and respect.
Drag Story Hour (DSH) is held on Saturdays at 11:00 am, West Hollywood Library in San Francisco. (Okay, that’s not Mendocino County, I’ll give you that, and yes, San Francisco has always been weird)
However, Drag Story Time for toddlers is simply not okay. Anywhere!
Dave — I want to be very clear about something. What I am asking you to look at is where the laws are being pushed, and what happens when people insist on viewing the world only through “what was” or “in my day” lenses while ignoring how modern policy actually works.
Here’s the concern — step by step:
1. We already have laws and policies that treat gender identity as inherently inappropriate for children
In states like Florida and Texas, discussion of gender identity and gender dysphoria is restricted in schools specifically because it is framed as inappropriate or sexualized for minors.
The law doesn’t have to say “trans people are sexual.”
It only has to say “this topic cannot exist around children.”
That is a legal classification — not just cultural discomfort.
2. We also have laws that impose the harshest penalties imaginable for sexual exposure of children
Separately, there is legislation — already passed in some states — that authorizes the death penalty or life without parole for certain crimes involving sexual exploitation or exposure of minors.
Those laws were written for extreme abuse.
No reasonable person disputes that.
3. The risk is not intent — it’s convergence
No one is saying lawmakers sat down and said, “Let’s execute transgender people.”
That’s not how this works.
What does happen — historically, legally, predictably — is this:
A group is labeled inappropriate for children
That label hardens into “dangerous”
“Dangerous” becomes “predatory”
“Predatory” becomes criminalized
Criminalization escalates penalties
At no point does anyone need to say the quiet part out loud.
That’s why people are alarmed — not because of hysteria, but because this pattern has played out before, many times, against many groups.
4. This is where “in my day” thinking becomes actively dangerous
The world no longer runs on informal social norms.
It runs on statutory language, enforcement discretion, and precedent.
Saying “that would never happen” because it didn’t happen in your day ignores how modern laws are written, layered, and weaponized.
You don’t need to support these outcomes for them to happen.
You only need to dismiss them as impossible.
That’s how trajectories go unchallenged.
5. Kids today already understand this — adults are the ones lagging
Kids today are not confused by transgender people.
They know their classmates, friends, siblings, and parents.
What they see is adults debating whether those people are “appropriate to exist” in public life.
That disconnect — between lived reality and nostalgic worldview — is exactly where harm grows.
The point
I’m not saying you believe in extreme outcomes.
I’m saying that extreme outcomes don’t require extreme beliefs — only sustained indifference and refusal to update one’s understanding of how power works now.
If these legislative trends continue unchallenged, and if reasonable people keep insisting “it could never go that far,” then history tells us exactly what happens next.
This isn’t about panic.
It’s about responsibility — and recognizing the direction of travel before it’s too late to change it.
Marie: Since your comment was directed towards “Dave,” I guess I have a responsibility to respond. Although it’s difficult because the general points all seem to “flood the zone,” and there’s no central topic any longer to focus on. If the main point is simply, “things change,” well okay, I agree. You win.
Meanwhile, from here on I will continue to live my life without this issue bothering me. It just does not matter. It’s like I stepped into something I should have walked around and avoided. I’ll be more careful next time.
Ha. Just realized my last comment comes straight outta “Lord of the Flies.” Doesn’t it though? Maybe some things don’t change.
Always good to end on a laugh…
Dave,
It sounds like you’ve been to the Drag Story Hour shows in SF or West Hollywood. How else would you know what the content was? And if you haven’t been there, please do not make assumptions about something you know nothing about.
West Hollywood Library is in Los Angeles.
Drag and lgbt events like pride parades are very sexualized and to pretend they aren’t isn’t accepting of reality. Drag is based around people dancing at night clubs with alcohol and accepting tips similar to a strip club or burlesque show, for adults… not a daytime family friendly activity. Not something that should be taught or even suggested in public schools with tax dollars.
Hopland brewery had pride events with kids dancing on stage in an adult bar scene, that’s wasn’t appropriate to most societies in the world.
Adults should be able to do whatever they want period. But it’s weird when lgbt teachers that don’t have kids themselves are obsessed with pushing adults lifestyles on children. Teach kids math and science and let them learn about their identities on their own.
I find it interesting, that the people that want, no hormones, no additives, only whole organic food, want children to be chemically induced, in a not naturally born, form/gender? Children are young, they are impressionable. And unfortunately, some, adults want to put, their ideas, into children’s heads. A child should be taught to love themselves, just as they are. And after becoming adult, decide to change, so be it. A girl who used to be called Tomboy, dosen’t mean they should destroy, their chance to be gender, they are born with. Same for feminine boys. Allow Children, to be just what they are, the gender they are born with. Because there is no going back, from surgical or hormone changes, on a child’s body. Allow them to grow up knowing being a boyish girl is perfectly fine. Being a girlish boy, is OK too. But hold off on dramatic, hormones, surgeries, life altering changes, until a child understands the consequences of changes. A childs wants, desires, and future plans, can change overnight. Please get them help, but in a way, that accepts the natural gender first. If they feel different later as an adult, that is their right. Postponing this decision should not mean life or death. If it does, the child needs counseling, vety quickly. Because feeling that awful, as a child, naturally, isn’t normal. Feeling awkward, not belonging, and questions, of who that child is, is normal, and part of growing up time.
Angelica,
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It’s important to clarify a few points about gender-affirming care and the developmental process.
Gender identity isn’t simply a preference or a “phase.” Research shows that most children are aware of their gender identity at a very young age, often before age 6. Being “boyish” or “girlish” is different from persistent gender dysphoria, which is a well-documented condition recognized by major medical organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the Endocrine Society.
Medical interventions are carefully staged and individualized. Puberty blockers, for instance, are reversible and give a child time to explore their identity without undergoing the physical changes of puberty that can cause distress. Hormone therapy typically starts later, after careful assessment, and surgeries are only considered in adulthood. These practices are supported by decades of clinical experience and research to minimize harm, not to “force” a child into an identity.
Mental health support is essential. Children experiencing gender dysphoria have higher rates of depression and anxiety, and evidence shows that affirming support—socially and, when appropriate, medically—significantly reduces those risks. Delaying care for children in distress can have serious consequences, including elevated risk of suicide.
Affirmation doesn’t mean rushing. The process is about giving children the space to understand themselves with guidance from qualified professionals, not about imposing irreversible changes. Medical and mental health protocols emphasize informed consent, staged interventions, and ongoing counseling.
In short, supporting a child’s gender identity is about ensuring they can grow up mentally healthy, not about “destroying” natural gender or rushing them into surgery. There’s strong evidence that affirming care, when appropriately timed and individualized, is protective, not harmful.
Sources you could reference:
American Academy of Pediatrics. Policy Statement: Ensuring Comprehensive Care and Support for Transgender and Gender-Diverse Children and Adolescents. Pediatrics. 2018;142(4).
Olson, K.R., Durwood, L., DeMeules, M., & McLaughlin, K.A. (2016). Mental health of transgender children who are supported in their identities. Pediatrics, 137(3).
Hembree, W.C., Cohen-Kettenis, P.T., Gooren, L., et al. (2017). Endocrine treatment of gender-dysphoric/gender-incongruent persons: An Endocrine Society clinical practice guideline. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 102(11), 3869–3903.
Six years old??? I think this is awful to say. Nothing you say, will change my mind. Six year olds, can’t possibly understand, the scope of gender subjects. I now do not agree, with your letter, because of the age, you mention. It would never be appropriate, to teach, to a six year old. Just allow children to be children, first. Adults are getting really egotistical and determined to push their own views, on little kids. Teachers are not psychologist and cannot be considered as such. It’s unethical.